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03-Jun-2020 05:09 by 4 Comments

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Less darkly, what happened to the good old dinner party, the comically bad set-up date, the meet-cute fender bender? I'd soon learn that grinders weren't always bathroom-trysting and Rusty Tromboning and doing Japanese nose-torture on each other.

exact location, I could see him on a map, too, in the shape of a red pushpin.

Others offered interviews in exchange for a quaint variety of carnal favors, which I graciously declined, as far as you know.

I met my fellow grinders in restaurants, in bars, in coffee shops, and on park benches; we had drinks in sunshine, tea at night.

Even in Chats, almost everyone eventually asked me if I was gay.

I was honest, yet some men still treated me like a trespasser.

They have it all down to a science, selling their sites on that old adage, "Similars attract." On Grindr, you are permitted to write a 120-character profile and upload a photo, and that's pretty much all you get to spark that digital First Look Across the Room.

To ensure that no user of Grindr ever felt hoodwinked, I took the name "GQ Magazine" and used as my icon a collage of covers, though I was slightly worried that grinders would think I was hawking subscriptions in some kind of seedy jailhouse telemarketing scheme. Though it is 96 percent inane, it's not all sexting and Weinering pics to people.The screen would blink into a checkerboard of guys' pictures—whole armies of men who were within a mile of me, many right next door, and I could those distances, for I was the Lord. Someone would message "Sup." Without even missing a beat, I'd come back with "How are you?" (I spelled it all out, eschewing the "R U," because, you know, being said!One guy spent a pleasant half hour at a restaurant regaling me with stories—then, learning I wasn't gay, very politely stood, silently folded his cloth napkin, and exited the building.Another took the time to text just one remark: "My bf will beat the shit out of me if he knows I'm talking to you." Which I found refreshingly concise, if vaguely unnecessary.Now the tech visionary who founded Grindr is launching a version for straight people. I'd be milling around a trendy Sunset Boulevard dive, or lounging in a French Roast restaurant about a block from where I live in Manhattan. The photos came in a few varieties: guys trying hard to look really bored though super-cool; nude, hirsute torsos; guys doing that ridiculous bathroom-mirror self-portrait in which the subject always looks surprised even though he himself has just snapped the shot.

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