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For us it was a release of tension and sexual frustration.I think it was less a matter of redoubling efforts at home than being better able to make a normal effort.
Let’s face it: If a guy is a good liar, his partner may not know the details of what goes on behind her (or his) back; but betrayed partners nearly always know that is up.
In a previous post I wrote about some of the reasons women might choose to be sexual outside of their primary relationship.
Judging from some of the comments that post received, a number of readers thought I might be ignoring the other half of the equation—men who cheat.
The underlying message: Honesty and relationship transparency is the only meaningful path to genuine intimacy, not to mention personal integrity and self-esteem.
(Needless to say, I’ve had few takers on this suggestion to date, despite 22 years of clinical practice.) By far the most common justification I hear from men who cheat is “What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.” It never ceases to amaze me how many men truly believe that misguided statement.
He has served as a media specialist for CNN, The Oprah Winfrey Network, the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and the Today Show, among many others.
You are quite right about the core problem being the secret.
” Men, in particular, appear to rely on their intellect—utilizing these kinds of digital word games—in order to continue and justify their extracurricular sexual behavior.
Some men may argue that, as men, it is their biological imperative (or right) to have sex with as many women as possible.
One important recent study found that the wives of men who’ve discovered a pattern of infidelity in their partners often experience acute stress symptoms similar to those found in post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Unsurprisingly, the emotional damage caused by infidelity can be difficult to overcome, even with the help of an experienced marriage or couples counselor. For some wives and spouses, however, the repeated violation of trust is too much; they are unable to experience the necessary emotional safety required to rebuild a relationship and move on.
This may be especially true when the cheater really loves that partner, but finds their loved one's total disinterest in sex to be unresolvable, even with all sort of therapy.