Dating a single dad with sole custody
Dating a single dad with sole custody - washingtondcdating com
So now I have to ask – if there was another arrangement in place would I still have a relationship with my dad? As a mother (and knowing you are one too), I never feel like it’s my children’s job to maintain or strengthen their relationship with me. It is only entitle parents, lawyers and courts that profit by sole custody. Maybe more women and men should have thought about this before they destroy their families through divorce. Sometimes the effects are serious sometimes not so serious, but serious nonetheless.Reply First, I have to point out that I dislike the term ‘custody’ when it comes to our kids.
In any case, I am a Mum who shares custody of my daughter in a 50/50 set-up. She is with me for a week, then to her dad’s for a week. About once a month we get together as a family for a casual dinner or time outdoors. Her Nana doesn’t see her on Mother’s day because M is with me.This non-equal custody arrangement is the arrangement my parents decided on right from the beginning of their divorce so as a 4 year-old I had no say in the matter. The scientific research on this is in and the score for joint custody is 225 to ZERO.Fast forward a couple of years and you find a very lonely 6 year-old wondering why her dad didn’t choose her and why he didn’t want her to be a part of his new family. Joint custody is proven superior for children by over 225 different scientific studies and not one ever showed that sole custody was good for children.I also use those funds for any classes she takes or more costly items that belong to her but will be shared between the 2 homes (like the portable DVD player M now has for long car rides to visit grandparents).I buy clothes for both houses because I make more money (oh, and he cannot buy kid clothes to save his life).There aren’t many topics as polarizing as this one. I knew that, but it’s not what I was thinking about as I wrote my comment. I am sure their children would feel freer to speak up about things if they saw that their parents put them first and not show their own insecurities to them. It’s a whole different world where everything can become complicated. What this was is an opinion piece on my feelings regarding equal physical custody.
I had just finished reading an interesting blog post over here and it really caught my interest. The primary caregiver should also not be hurt or dicourage a child from asking if they can sleep at the other parent’s house. It’s hard to stay focused on what’s really important sometimes. At who’s house someone sleeps is not the predictor of who they love most. And so with all due respect, I’m going to reserve comments for this post to that subject alone.
I started a bit of a kerfuffle on another site the other day and I decided to write an opinion piece to reflect it. Reply After reading some of the posts on the other site, it seems to me that the fathers feel like if they don’t have the full or atleast 50/50 custody it means they do not love their children as much. Just because the child doesn’t live with you it does not mean they love you less.
I didn’t think I would be writing these, but the topic is interesting and I’d love to hear other people’s perspectives: Child custody. And debating it is not for the meek or faint hearted. Somehow I just don’t see maturity playing a part in any of the above. Not being the child of divorce I can’t tell you which I’d prefer. You do make a compelling argument on the subject of “making an effort” when it comes down to it. By the passion they have about the subject you can tell they love them very much. If only these parents would put that time and energy into just being with their children and not worry about who sleeps at who’s house more etc. Anyway, this wasn’t a commentary about what my parents did right or wrong, so I’m not going to make it one here.
Her dad and I were married, then separated but living in the same house, then separated and in different homes. Likewise, my dad doesn’t see M on Father’s day because she is with her dad.
It was two years ago last week that we set up two homes for her; she was 22 months old. I don’t attend playdates with friends if she is not with me. Sometimes I ache to be with her, see her and she’s not with me.
But there are a few things that make this co-parenting possible.