Children coping with divorced parents dating

19-Feb-2020 09:41 by 5 Comments

Children coping with divorced parents dating

Not helping are the statistics stating children of divorce are more likely to end up divorced themselves.

Others feel guilt or anger from suspicions that their parents stayed together for the kids' "benefit."But even as the so-called "gray divorce" becomes more common — Bowling Green State University professors studying later-life splits found that the divorce rate among people 50 and older more than doubled between 19 — there is not much guidance for adult kids navigating a complicated situation.

Studies show that children of divorce are more likely to freak out after an argument with their romantic partner because they view it as "proof" that all relationships are doomed. Dismissing serious romantic commitments as unreliable or doomed to fail isn't healthy or realistic, says Sharon Brooks, author of "If Your Parents Divorced, Will You Too?

" (Enlighten Publishing)."If you're not willing to take a risk on love, you're hurting yourself by missing out on a chance at real intimacy," Brooks said.

I can say that now without feeling embarrassed or weak. I had a great job, close friends, a relationship—all of the things that should make you feel rooted.

Yet when my parents announced they were separating, I felt as if the world had collapsed in on me.

When you start wondering if your parents stayed together "for the children," it can make happy childhood memories feel phony or cheapened — even when they shouldn't be.

But feeling like you are losing part of your past is valid."You are not responsible for guiding your parents through their divorce."Don't pick sides.Many adult children of divorce are pressured to do so, and it can become especially volatile and painful when infidelity factors into the divorce, said therapist Terry Gaspard, who started a website,, with her daughter Tracy Clifford.There was the realization that home would never be the same.I'd had what I thought was a perfect childhood—Sunday drives to clam bars, picnics on the beach."Because children of divorce can have difficulty recognizing what love looks like, they are more likely to pick the wrong partner if they don't examine these traits."Put the past in perspective.

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